All of a sudden, your daughter left the house without leaving her address or phone number. Or maybe he still lives with you, but he does not treat you like a person who is a part of his life.
Losing your relationship with your daughter as a mother is a terrible experience. And you probably won’t understand it because to your knowledge, you both always seem to be right. The last good trip for both mom’s daughters was a few months ago but it was fine. So, what changed? Dealing with a child who is unfamiliar with your child may be difficult because anything you do can upset him.
Here are seven tips to help you reconnect with your daughter
- Take your time:
One important thing to keep in mind when reconciling with your divorced daughter is that it may take longer, perhaps longer than you expected. Even if you yearn to be part of your daughter’s life, patience is a must.
- Avoid pressure:
This will push you away from his health. Trying to force him to talk to you in any way will eventually lead to a heated argument between you and him. So, try to go at his own pace.
- Do not blame yourself:
Sometimes you may feel that if you can make him feel guilty about this, he will end up trying to reconcile. Call-tripping is a gun that is most likely to bring back. Your daughter might be puzzled if you simply want to control her emotions and then make her feel guilty. I hope so. You would not want them to feel that way.
- Apologies for making a mistake:
Try to find out why the split occurred and how you got involved. Ways you can be the cause of the condition, whether intentionally or not. You will have to face your mistakes and apologize. He should feel that the reason for your apology is not simply that you want to return to his life, but that you feel bad about what you did. It may be helpful to let him know that you will do your best to avoid such a situation as it could happen again.
- Listen Most of the time, listening is exactly what your child wants from you, and it can be the whole situation you need to get better. Her words can be harsh, and it can be hard to hear her. Why? Let’s face it:
No one likes to hear bad things about himself, let alone your child, but in the meantime, all you have to do is pick up any truth from those hurtful words and act on them. Do not rush to defend yourself. Let him express his feelings.
- Don’t give up on love: Even if you were the cause of the quarrel between you and your daughter, the truth is, you have not broken it in your life. He did so. So no matter how angry you are, you should never back down.
Continue to show her love as before. He should know that you have not stopped loving him because of the situation, and you do not plan to stop. If she is out of the house and you can find her address or contact, keep in touch with her and send birthday and holiday messages and gifts. Sometimes you can text him and tell him you want to be a part of his life again.
But try not to overdo it with your messages and gifts.
- Do not exclude outsiders:
In situations like these, you may feel lost and helpless; these feelings may make you want to seek help from a third party. You may feel the need to communicate with friends, schoolmates or workmates, or children, and ask them to talk to you. That is not a good idea. Involving an outside group will sound like a boundary violation of your daughter. You should respect his boundaries and try to keep them between the two of you. If you need help, you can go to counseling. You can also seek advice but make sure you filter what you put into it.
If these tips work, take the opportunity and repeat your effort to maintain your relationship with your daughter. You can have some great suggestions for mom and daughter weekend. This will help both of you to spend time together and reconnect. During the time you are together, know better, let him express his feelings, and listen without judging. Your daughter should feel that being a part of life means a lot to you, and you want to be flexible at times.