This clip is a new series from Momfilter’s new contributor, Tanya Fujiki-Hastings. Tanya is writing a blog, T Spoon of Sunshine.
Hello, I am Tanya, and it is my pleasure to meet you. Well, I’m a mother and a widow.
The longing to remember my late husband all year long left me with many emotions. Do I feel comfortable with surviving the first year? Certainly. On the other hand, I wish I had not had to deal with much of the original. In any case, I feel strong, proud, and happy.
Thinking of the “sad day” that made me feel like everyone else’s work, I was overwhelmed with emotion and saw compassion and emotion on people’s faces. I vowed to take care of myself and my baby. Being a mother can cause a person to become overly attached to a child and to pay less attention to himself or herself. It is an inevitable part of our lives, especially for those we truly care about.
Ever since my 6-month-old daughter lost her father in a fatal accident, I have had a different experience over the past 10 months. I had traveled a lot, read and cried a lot, met a lot of people, and moved with my daughter to a new place with a few faces I knew. Meanwhile, I fell in love with someone.
This was difficult for me because I did not want to be embarrassed again. I felt the need for a place before I could be happy again. Also, I heard people have a lot to say about my new happiness. Even inside me, I felt self-conscious. We could not control ourselves, but we loved each other, right?
I had a conversation with Ryan a few weeks before his tragic accident. I asked him what he would like me to do if he was not there, and he said, “I want you to continue. I want you to love each other again.” I don’t want you to worry, especially when it’s over. Me.” The answer was from his heart, and he kept me. Words kept me strong during my experiences.
Also, the experience will carry me beyond my conclusion.
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